8 Reasons Why Attachement Parenting Is Awesome!
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I love the concept of attachment parenting, and for those who are curious, and are thinking about adopting this parenting style this is for you.
A philosophy of living with our children is brought to you today. I got asked yesterday and thought I would briefly explain the 8 Concepts of AP;
As parents we all seek emotional bonding with our babies and children, and in turn there are parenting styles that meet these values. There are so many parenting models that we have, there are the discipline models that aid in socialising defiant children and there are others models, where we teach our kids to be little adults, that we can reason with.
There is a plethora of different styles, but which is best for you? Sometimes trial and error is the best method to know exactly what you looking for in raising your little ones, what works for you and for your family and what style resonates with you the most.
I focus on Attachment parenting, which encourages developed connections between parents and child. This is a nurturing style that raises secure independent and empathique children. Paediatrician William Sears, MD believes that if you have an emotionally secure, trusting attachment during childhood then that is the basis of securing relationships, it will promote confidence, and independence, as adults
Attachment parenting international gives 8 main principles. Parents have considerable amount of leeway on how they choose to adapt some or all these principles into their lifestyle
Pregnancy and Birth
Components of AP believes that it is very important to avoid negative thoughts and feelings of pregnancy, making the experience as natural as possible in methods and environment, it’s all about being with loved ones and familiar environment in order to both like nature intended and have the ultimate bond when the baby arrives with constant skin contact, by doing this you prepare a positive journey of birth and parenting. In addition, recent studies suggest that even adopted babies and newborns in intensive care can benefit from birth bonding and form healthy relationships later in life.
Feeding with Love
The philosophy of AP believe that there is a secure way to create that ultimate bond with your little one, by doing this you are able to read the cues of your baby easily and fulfil the needs, especially before they are able to communicate. Breastfeeding benefits mother as well, by breastfeeding it promotes the prolactine and ocytocine the bonding hormones in mothers that help build that secure connection that lasts a lifetime. Majority of AP families tend to extend breastfeeding until the toddler-hood. Even adoptive mothers, with the right assistance to produce, are able to breastfeed their adoptive child.
For those that were not able to breastfeed at an early stage but are now bottle feeding, that is absolutely OK and gets a thumbs up all the way. It’s all about being mindful, adopting and gentle parenting attitude. Never judge those who weren’t able to breastfeed, because everyone has a different story! Feeding with love is what matters.
Sensitivity in your Response
API believe that parents need to consider all the expressions for our children and that includes tantrums that are constantly repeated. Tantrums are expressions of communication that should not be punished or dismissed instead, it’s their way of being understood, API believes we should respond with compassion patience and find solutions with your child as opposed to for your child.
Use Nurturing Touch
Experts in this philosophy advise on the maximum of skin to skin touching, ways that we can achieve this would be having baths with our young children, baby wearing by using slings to carry a baby, front ways, back ways and uptil the age of two, in some cases longer.
5.Night time Parenting
API promotes sleeping arrangements with our children, the concept of co-sleeping with our infants means that sleeping in the same room as the parents. You can be there for your child and feed on demand. It’s common that families bed share or maybe have a mattress in the same room. However paediatric will advise against sleeping in the same bed as your child because of the risks. However API philosophy believe that there are very rare cases and it would be difficult to roll over on a child that you’ve just given birth to, our instincts are constantly on alert especially with a newborn
It goes without saying always take precautions, Never sleep with a baby under the influence of alcohol, because of delayed senses. Never put a baby under a duvet and make sure there is adequate bedding, next to you for baby if you feel too exhausted and don’t feel comfortable to share a bed but have him or her close so are able to touch and show them your there .
In the end everyone will have a good night’s sleep. In my experience i have always shared with my children and times i was exhausted, or just needed the bed to myself for awhile, I personally used the Next to me crib that helped me in the early days, to still continue to be near my baby when overtired! The best invention
Provide Constant, Loving Care
API promotes the constant presence of a parent to provide reassurance the philosopher are against childcare for more than 20 hours per week for babies younger than 30 months old.I find that many parents who believe in this lifestyle work for themselves or work from home and/or home school, in order to be closer to their children
However for the occasional distance from your child that includes work, date night, short walks, errands or even just to be alone, child care is encouraged.
Practice Positive Discipline
Redirect and guide is the basis of discipline and that goes for the even youngest of babies, this in turn will promote positive behaviour. The aim for this style of discipline, is to understand what children’s negative behaviour is communicating to us, as children cannot express themselves like adults. Parents will then find solutions with the child compared to imposing their will or spanking a child . Believe in the language of your baby’s cry and what they are telling you.
Personal and Family Life Balance
Parents are encouraged to have healthy support networks, live a healthier lifestyle by eating right, minimising processed foods were possible and avoid parenting burnout at all costs. Balancing parenting, making time for our spouses or partners and looking after our own health by staying positive and calm is priority. In turn,living a more close and enriched lifestyle with our children.
For those of you that were not able to breastfeed at an early stage but a bottle feeding Is absolutely ok and gets a thumbs up all the way. It’s all about being mindful, adopting and gentle parenting attitude.
That being said when we say Attachment Parenting we don’t literally mean that your child needs to be attached to you 24/7 but make it clear and known to your child that you are always there for them, in a caring, loving and compassionate way, without using any type of force or anger as a way of communicating and controlling the behaviour of our children. Think of consequences in a way that your child will remember and implement. Not everyone is ok with the AP style of Parenting and that’s ok too just have an open mind, whether we choose this style of parenting or another, we are all in this parenting life together trying to raise our children the best way we know how.
Have you been thinking about Attachment Parenting?
I do believe in this philosophy, although i was not completely raised this way, there are some elements that naturally were part of our lifestyle growing up. So now I adapt these principles and use what works for us. Have you been thinking about Attachment Parenting?
I hope this brief post helped you decide if Attachment parenting’s for you? Leave your comments below if you have used any other parenting style.